today when i was walking
i happened to look behind me--
(you know that feeling you get
when you’re being followed...
not the one where it is the cops
and not the one where it is your annoying kid brother,
but the feeling in-between)
and not surprisingly it was my old friend Death
i had to do a double-take
(partly because i was looking right into the sun
and could not make out a distinct face
and partly because i could’ve sworn
that Death was eating a blue Otter Pop
and he said that we were out of blue)
so i purposefully slowed down
but kept walking as if i didn’t see him
(though he was pretty obvious about it--
the whole “leaving destruction in his wake” thing,
not to mention the Converse that squeaked and squished
like he’d been running through the sprinklers again)
and when i reached the corner,
i stopped even though the signal said “Walk”
and i waited
and waited,
eager at first, anticipating
(like at a surprise birthday party
when someone says “She’s here! She just pulled up!”)
and then sort of impatiently but still excited
(crouched under the table and wondering
‘How long does it take to get out of the fucking car?’)
and then losing interest in the game altogether
so i turn to face Death as i say, “What took you so long?”
(because i’ve been ready and no one likes to be stood up)
only my friend isn’t there,
having found someone much more interesting to play with
(he’s one of those people who prefers the chase
or he likes to be in control
or he’s a typical guy
or one of those other lines to explain
why someone isn’t there for you when you need them)